Expose Me Now (1982)

Expose Me Now (1982)

A Jack of all trades within adult industry confines, performing anything from script supervision to sound editing as well as probably providing sandwiches on set, Joe Sherman graduated to directing with a mere handful of puerile but undeniably pleasant porn comedies akin to the late great Gerard Damiano’s attempts at same with the likes of Deep ThroatMeatball and by far the best of show Never So Deep. Making no lofty claims beyond providing light lustful entertainment, Sherman had the impeccable sense of surrounding himself with talented people who were proficient at both aspects thereof, first and foremost the delectable Danielle who was to headline in most of his efforts, most memorably essaying the title role in his enjoyably ludicrous Blonde Next Door.

In what must surely rank as Sherman’s sterling directorial achievement, the currently under scrutiny Expose Me Now, she plays Sondra, ever supportive Girl Friday to conniving Abel Phillips (Ron Jeremy) who feels he has been cruelly cheated out of his dad’s inheritance by his do-gooder twin brother Shane (Herschel Savage). Shane and Abel, geddit ? As a clause to his will, their father has duly stipulated that Shane should tirelessly continue his established tradition of good deeds – wearing an oversized boy scout uniform to boot ! – every evening from 6 to 9, the time when people apparently feel most desperate and needy. During this daily absence, Abel surreptitiously attempts to sell Shane’s estate out from under him, using a computer program that compiles all of his prospective buyer’s sexual weaknesses. How on earth he got hold of this information is really beside the point. Hey, it’s porn so this is convenient, right ?

Though clearly enamored of her employer, Sondra’s pressed into duty seducing millionaire Michael Morrison but winding up with his horny Mexican gardener Richard Pacheco instead in one of the film’s downright funniest bits. Always hot Lynx Canon (fondly remembered for her al fresco session with horseriding instructor Star Wood from Fred Lincoln’s terrific Same Time Every Year) dons the cutest little navy outfit to lure shipping magnate Paul Thomas and his “son” Don Fernando into a steamy threesome with homosexual Jean Genet type undertones – the computer reveals his penchant for “sailor boys” ! – that PT clearly picks up on but seem to go straight over hired schlong Fernando’s head, as per usual. Buxom Brooke Bennett a/k/a “Joan Victoria” (whose sole starring roles came courtesy of the late “John Christopher” a/k/a Chris Covino who prominently featured her in both Blue Jeansand Daddy’s Little Girls) orders lesbian power broker Dana Moore, a pretty performer bearing a passing resemblance to Sharon Mitchell whose only other credit’s for Chris Warfield’s equally excellent Purely Physical, to (literally) toss her salad as a prelude to their aborted Sapphic slurping. Meanwhile, Savage’s ravaged by perky fellow girl scout Angel Burgeon, who was one of Leonard Kirtman’s Coed Teasers. Toothsome K.C. Williams plays Shane’s bride to be in the sidesplitting “give your future brother in law a great big kiss” fade-out as all’s well that ends well and succulent Sondra finally gets her goofy guy all to herself.

Each sexual scenario offers a solid mix of hearty laughs and unadulterated heat as the plot amiably ambles along towards its not wholly unpredictable but surefire crowdpleasing conclusion with the entire cast performing at the top of their game. Jeremy carries the comedy with his customary aplomb with the major surprise being the usually macho Savage matching him every single step of the way as his endearingly naive sibling. The scene where Shane finds a discarded vibrator among his sofa cushions (excitedly exclaiming “My, what an ingenious device !” as he daintily puts the buzzing contraption to his cheek) displays a perfectly played mix of wonder and delight. Deliciously dirty Danielle also shows largely untapped comedic resources in her scene with the amusingly befuddled Pacheco, whom she imagines being his millionaire boss who gets turned on from erotic literature. To this effect, she carries a volume bluntly titled Lumberjack Lust, preceding her lecture by pulling out a huge jar of Vaseline “for when her lips get chapped from reading”, she claims with a suggestively sly wink. A total delight from start to finish and a welcome reminder of the high standards maintained by the genre in days of yore.

Directed and edited by Joe Sherman. Written by Ed DeLong. Produced by Roy McBride, Sam Norvell and Sherman. Music by Leon René. Starring Danielle (Sondra), Herschel Savage (Shane Phillips), Ron Jeremy (Abel Phillips), Richard Pacheco (Spanish Gardener), K.C. William’s (Shane’s Bride), Lynx Canon (Sailor Girl), Paul Thomas (Skipper), Don Fernando (Skipper’s Son), Dana Moore (Stockbroker), Brooke Bennett (Lesbian Trick), Angel Burgeon (Girl Scout) & Michael Morrison (Millionaire). Running time : 78 minutes.

Danielle : The Woman Who Was Born Hot !

By Dries Vermeulen

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