A Little Christmas Tail (1991)

Tis the season to be jolly, so here’s a sweet little stocking stuffer of a slightly different stripe ! At the helm stood, rather incredibly, notorious hardcore hack Jim Enright who has indifferently perpetrated literally hundreds of shot on video porno pics over the past couple of decades, hovering for most part between passable and downright pathetic.  Only ever as good as cast and material at his disposal (the much missed Missy showcase Sinister Sister and Gigolo, featuring a surprisingly sympathetic turn by underrated Tony Tedeschi in its title role, counting among his better efforts), Enright foolheartedly attempts to corner the Yuletide meat market, if there is indeed such a thing, with this indefatigably good-natured small screen gem that might ultimately raise more chuckles than chubbies.  Of course, it can’t even begin to compare to Shaun Costello’s Christmas-themed classic The Passions of Carol but draws considerable mileage nonetheless from Gerard Damiano’s amiably silly script, matched by an unabashed campiness befitting the material displayed by several performers clearly game for a laugh.

Setting is the North Pole (cue the flick’s first sniggers, appropriately setting the tone) as Santa, played in characteristic laidback fashion by a decidedly leathery looking Randy West, prepares to leave for a Miami toy convention. He’s actually planning a dirty weekend getaway with Virginia (the always enthusiastic Debi Diamond, still very much a fuck film fixture since entering the industry at barely legal age as a Suze Randall discovery christened “Kaviar“, followed by a Golden Age tail end stint as “Shelly Rey” in Bill Milling’s All American Girls 2 : In Heat and Svetlana’s Bad Girls 2, making her something of an unacknowledged sequel queen ?), and this particular character name is very much to be interpreted as in “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus“, of course ! They have the first sex scene, fueled by convincing chemistry and all the energy Debi can muster – which is plenty ! – but mildly marred by poor camera placement, a drawback the rest of the feature unfortunately adheres to. This is a particular shame as all of the tape’s five encounters have an otherwise commendable quota of heat, now drained through the absence of a really solid sex shooter like Michael Cates or Frank Marino.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Cindy Claus is left in charge of her hardworking husband’s workshop. She’s Angela Summers, one of the most popular starlets of the early ’90s, prominently featured in John Stagliano’s Wild Goose Chase among many others, impossibly cute ‘n’ cuddly running around in a tiny red teddy topped off with a matching Santa’s cap.  Awww ! She has to contend with mischievous head elf Big Jake (“little person” Napoleon, unfairly treated as a gimmick within a less than sensitive adult industry that forced him into headshaking hardcore fare such as Enright’s Walking Small and Alex Ladd’s downright insulting Freak Show) who has invented a nifty materializer whereby he can bring toys to life, giving them an altogether unexpected sex drive along the way. So we get a tryst involving Raggedy Ann (K.C. Williams, creamy blonde star of Jack Remy’s sleeper The Adventures of Mikki Finn) and Andy (the late Buck Adams, who was to become something of a latterday lust cinema Renaissance man, directing as well as starring in noir-inspired 35mm films like Public Enemy, Lethal Passion and No Motive), with impeccable costuming by the way, and a sweltering threesome involving Cindy Claus with a toy ballerina (Alicyn Sterling, who played Cleopatra in Damiano’s Hustler-funded Just for the Hell of It) and tin soldier (stalwart stud T.T. Boy). Kudos especially to Adams and Sterling for sustained “doll acting” that truly adds to their scenes.

Hardly the type of feature to reap major awards, quite a few of which have been unfairly bestowed upon its invariably inept instigator throughout his lengthy career, it has a certain really hard to resist charm as a result of its knowing cheesiness – helped rather than hindered by the use of synthesized carols on the soundtrack – that bigger if not necessarily better movies can’t match. So give it a shot, you may find that it grows on you, and happy holidays to you all !

Directed & photographed by Jim Enright. Written by Gerard Damiano. Produced by the Zane Entertainment Group. Starring Debi Diamond (Virginia), Randy West (Santa Claus), Angela Summers (Cindy Claus), K.C. Williams (Raggedy Ann), Buck Adams (Raggedy Andy), Alicyn Sterling (Ballerina Doll), T.T Boy (Little Drummer Boy) & Napoleon (Big Jake). Running Time : 72 minutes.

Mythical moviemaker Gerard Damiano spreading Christmas cheer by exploiting his silly side as a screenwriter for the festive occasion

By Dries Vermeulen